I can hardly fathom that it’s been a year since I traveled abroad for a yoga retreat in Ireland. I was there on October 7th as news unfolded. My heart ached for Israel and the human lives lost and taken hostage.
As an American Jew, many days of confusion and sadness have followed since the atrocities. I am a lover of people, seeing us as more alike than different. How could heinous acts of unconscionable barbarism lead to the rise in antisemitism?
In these troubling times, I have further investigated my role and purpose in this lifetime. My friend and spiritual guide Sheryl said a few months ago, “Marla, your ‘Shine’ book and blog piece on antisemitism will be completed as both a gift to yourself for finishing and for the amazing human beings it’s meant to get to” – and like my publisher Shanda says, “at the right time”.
So, I continue inching towards the finish lining of this “not-so-sexy” (got that one from coach Sarah) chapter filled with Radiant Reflections in its rawness.
Thinking back to when upheaval excelled while flowers bloomed in springtime, it also turned a bit tumultuous. By mid-summer with a rise in emotions from unsettled family dynamics and the outbreak of escalated war zones, in certain moments I felt my energy frazzled.
I was grateful each day for my breath flow and noticed how it sometimes stopped or was congested in my throat and heart. Bruised, yet committed to playing and traveling and engaging in life. A few knew what was my discomfort, and how it continued to escalate. Not everyone is meant to know our troubles or darkest nights. Yet over time, we may feel compelled to share parts of our stories so we don’t hold festering emotions inside.
For the most part, I had not touched base with you whilst some things went on standby. Shanda said it was best, “Set your proofreading aside. Only when you’re ready, allow positive energy to return to the manuscript.”
After some conversations with loved ones where the resolution was not for me to find, I felt hopeful that my input might be able to shift the energy within the extended family’s emotional turmoil. Yet, even though many of my self-care rituals were in place, a part of me went numb.
How to get out of my “feeling blue” woes and shift the disparaging sense of helplessness? Stay tuned to read more in part two on my next blog.
Until then, signing off for now. If you too are feeling or have felt saddened or blue, please know I’m here for you as a resource, a friend.
You are never alone.
Stay connected.
Marla
Photo Credits: “Fiddle-Fig Leaf” by Jennifer Bladel, Village Studio Photos
